All those times you’ve called me a house cat. I wonder if you knew I was listening.. I wonder if you knew I was ok with that and came back to see where you wanted me> I wonder if you could catch your own clever thoughts come back to you like a reflection in the mirror, bite like the tequila that you like so much. Not sure, but one thing i do know is that you sure kept going like nothing was wrong. I don’t know if it was the curiosity or it was the anticipation that was killing you but you did make sure i was happy on my way out.

How hard was it to keep friends around? Did you long for someone who could take all of you with the ups and the downs.?

Well, full disclosure. It was my first time and you knew. I know that you knew because you looked at me to search for a reaction or a reflection in all the semi-insults that I got>, unfortunately, I wasn’t that stupid. Not to brag but I understood more than you dished. I really wanted to see what my reflection looked like emotionally. It looked really dumb the way you pained it but that was no problem. I cared less about how I looked and more what personal brush strokes you added to my portrait… your own interpretation. It was good but you did add some disturbing judgment. The judgment I would never have thought you would be capable of. Like…

The counterpart you wanted to see in me but you never saw. You pressed hard to see it but i would not budge. I was silent and you kept your jabs loaded. I sat still as my best friend joined in and eventually laughed it off. I get it. That is how life goes and that is how we learn. But, that is the dark side. Fortunately, we aren’t on the same team. I was just visiting. Just seeing how it’s done so I can fight the good fight. So I can distance myself and others like me far far away from your kind. We aren’t better than you. We aren’t stronger. We are simple. We don’t require emotional layers to complicate our existence. We simply need a connection. No superstitious inclination or manifestation of meaning, just simple, pure, the unadulterated connection that your kind craves so much but can’t get… because you are hell-bent on some infatuated and over-dramatized complexion that you can’t even understand.

It’s what you are. Your own ego staring back at you trying to see deeper into yourself when there really isn’t anything more than your fucking face.

I get it. We are all here to understand what we are and how we work but all I see in you is a soul, looking to others for inspiration and meaning not able to understand others and applying that stencil for yourself… while you come out complex and colorful, you are not yourself. You don’t even understand what you are. You have no clue what those nuances mean and how they work, you just know that they work for someone else and now you want to be like them… so you go for the quick fix. The get rich quick scheme. The “call now and get double” bullshit. Painting on trigonometric series onto your eyebrows and rhetoric that is so abstract only the writer knows what’s up with it. But you don’t see how ridiculous you look from my perspective. I’m the quiet guy. The dude that wants nothing to do with the you that you became and just waits and hopes you remember who you were and find the strength to get in touch with her and humbly say something that means more to you than to those around you that might hear it and judge you for what you choose to say.