Category: Uncategorized

Letter to some friends

Letter to Chuuk

Notice it said lift and support … Tristan I know you have no idea how to do that since you’ve only mastered pushing people down, but please do your best to read through this tough text since you weren’t able to read the last message. If you take people’s rights away by speaking for the group, it makes you sound like Safron using “we” to speak on behalf of people she has never met. Just sounds like *you don’t know what you’re talking about, man, which totally makes sense. Please stop making a fool of yourself, you had me at “googled rare dictionary words to use at dinner to sound smart”.

This isn’t to win over your hearts and say wow.. he’s right, everyone. This is not at all about me since the stories are real and they hit differently when I write them for the military folk who go home in coffins. I am here to help you see the rest of the picture. This is about you. I am a mirror. Look at yourself and ask, “what am I and why am I”

Are you a reactive doll who is pushed around by other people (like Tristan), prompted, triggered and primed at will of others or do you follow your own path with eternal light shining within? (Chest Lion tattoos don’t count as courage, merely a symbol for what you want so so bad)

Are you an educator who never gives up on learning about the world around you, or have you completed that path and are polishing your arguments like trophies treating everyone around you like you have won every argument before it even started… cuz you been to some countries and seen the “world”.

Well, here’s a little note. I promise, you haven’t seen the world until you see it from the perspective of locals. Until you drop your ego and humble yourself for the magnitude of gift of life itself, you will not know what it is like to starve or be humiliated everyday, not be able to read, not have a family or running water growing up, having to invent your own opportunity, be discriminated against. You experience the sight of them… but never never ever understand it until you live it.

To you, it will be “just sad” without any credible solution. Tristan, for example ate 5 meals per day completely comfortably on an island rampant with starving children just to satisfy his newly found manhood. Corey, withdrew from everything and dove deeper into his own arrogance. Instead of offering his peace to everyone as a gift… he kept it as a holy grail of blessings to hostage his “coveted” presence and diminish who wasn’t cool enough for him. Safron was the face and mouth of coconut-wireless talking to locals and her “favorite teachers” spreading dirt instead of working on being a fair and even leader. This ain’t the picture I would put together when I would talk about people that care. People that ride on the backs of others to push their own agenda. Unhumble breed with egos larger than life itself. Ungrateful for what they have.

I am not here to pull pity into my direction nor do I care for any from anyone as a defender of our great nation. This ain’t even about black lives matter. This is what happens almost every day in your armed forces with people they love, care and cherish while making lifelong memories with. These posts are simply to bring perspective, something that Safron Smith is clearly lacking. While Corey and Safron are comfortably defending hate and discrimination in their middle class homes with good education, family support, no history of criminal activity, not being born into slavery, watching internet videos and recently waking to a horrifying reality of systematic oppression that’s been in place for years…. your country’s military is fighting and sometimes giving their life for YOUR freedom to spread rage throughout our country…. has that sunken in yet?

This isn’t good, and I really hope this shines a bit of light for all who defend Safron’s lack of heart in all matters including the person who yelled “stop saying I love you”. Dismissing, unfollowing, blocking and discriminating against someone who has a different perspective, especially when they speak of love and forgiveness from the front-lines makes you a fascist. Simple as that. “Forcible suppression of opposition”.

Safron Smith, I hereby condemn you as enemy of the state, talking against our country’s beliefs and disrespecting our country’s flag and all it stands for. You do not deserve the freedoms given to you at no cost by those who payed with their life. You do not deserve respect, Safron. Not from me.

Please, may the conversations about this deeply complex subject commence… because clearly we have some egos to shatter

All the teachers out there

Instructors who ask for a lot are the parent’s they never were to their children. Why, why are you so strict and taxing with your assignments? You aren’t a new teacher. You aren’t that old to have life lessons beating you into afterlife… why are you such an ass? stubborn and relentlessly stuck in your own ways. Sigh. Who are you?

Honestly, were all just so sick and tired of your bull shit with the over-explaining and giving us all the useless shit we don’t need. If you wanna get your point across, you should simplify your method. Be clear and concrete. Black and fucking white. Give me the building blocks and I will take care of the work. I don’t need your useless rhetoric on how you used to struggle back in school with the same issues or how your behavior is a direct reflection of what you are now and how you treat your surroundings. THAT is your choice to make and yours alone. I’m here to become a better version of you. Let’s make this quick. So many waiting to be born. We really don’t have much time. Have you seen our icecaps?

I wonder if you knew

All those times you’ve called me a house cat. I wonder if you knew I was listening.. I wonder if you knew I was ok with that and came back to see where you wanted me> I wonder if you could catch your own clever thoughts come back to you like a reflection in the mirror, bite like the tequila that you like so much. Not sure, but one thing i do know is that you sure kept going like nothing was wrong. I don’t know if it was the curiosity or it was the anticipation that was killing you but you did make sure i was happy on my way out.

How hard was it to keep friends around? Did you long for someone who could take all of you with the ups and the downs.?

Well, full disclosure. It was my first time and you knew. I know that you knew because you looked at me to search for a reaction or a reflection in all the semi-insults that I got>, unfortunately, I wasn’t that stupid. Not to brag but I understood more than you dished. I really wanted to see what my reflection looked like emotionally. It looked really dumb the way you pained it but that was no problem. I cared less about how I looked and more what personal brush strokes you added to my portrait… your own interpretation. It was good but you did add some disturbing judgment. The judgment I would never have thought you would be capable of. Like…

The counterpart you wanted to see in me but you never saw. You pressed hard to see it but i would not budge. I was silent and you kept your jabs loaded. I sat still as my best friend joined in and eventually laughed it off. I get it. That is how life goes and that is how we learn. But, that is the dark side. Fortunately, we aren’t on the same team. I was just visiting. Just seeing how it’s done so I can fight the good fight. So I can distance myself and others like me far far away from your kind. We aren’t better than you. We aren’t stronger. We are simple. We don’t require emotional layers to complicate our existence. We simply need a connection. No superstitious inclination or manifestation of meaning, just simple, pure, the unadulterated connection that your kind craves so much but can’t get… because you are hell-bent on some infatuated and over-dramatized complexion that you can’t even understand.

It’s what you are. Your own ego staring back at you trying to see deeper into yourself when there really isn’t anything more than your fucking face.

I get it. We are all here to understand what we are and how we work but all I see in you is a soul, looking to others for inspiration and meaning not able to understand others and applying that stencil for yourself… while you come out complex and colorful, you are not yourself. You don’t even understand what you are. You have no clue what those nuances mean and how they work, you just know that they work for someone else and now you want to be like them… so you go for the quick fix. The get rich quick scheme. The “call now and get double” bullshit. Painting on trigonometric series onto your eyebrows and rhetoric that is so abstract only the writer knows what’s up with it. But you don’t see how ridiculous you look from my perspective. I’m the quiet guy. The dude that wants nothing to do with the you that you became and just waits and hopes you remember who you were and find the strength to get in touch with her and humbly say something that means more to you than to those around you that might hear it and judge you for what you choose to say.

Decisions

It’s really white what you do and how fast you do it. But anyway, making decisions is difficult. So the way you make other people feel by being the decision maker is ultimately you fortune.

Being careful if you guess the right personality for the man who wants or don’t want you to make a decision for them. For example: where do you want to go eat is never a decision I want to make. I honestly don’t care and could not care less if the person I’m going with makes that decision. So, if I get asked where do you wanna eat question, I rank that cat with a negative.

I really don’t like making unnecessary decisions. Takes to much time and ultimately i don’t want to keep around people who don’t save me time but waste it instead with mediocre tasks that they leave to me, like deciding where to eat or drink… etc

Wanting and hating

Currently researching this disgusting thing in humans that makes us hate each other when we show affection. Why do some feel this repulsive need to distance themselves and spread hate when another showed them love and makes them feel wanted?

I met an artist and I offered him a connection in New York. He was traveling soon and I wanted to help. Instead of being thankful and connecting with me, he distanced himself and made me feel as if we have more distance between us than we established. It was clearly a play on some type of facade which I am still bound to find out why in the hell… possibly some personal problems… there’s underlying hints on childhood trauma and mediocre friend circles who make him feel he needs to do this.

Staying away for a while to clear my head and gather myself although i’ve already lost my footing, and was completely taken off guard when he repeatedly called me selfish. My life‘s work is in helping people. Everything I do revolves around someone other than me. And because we’ve establish this inner circle between us I trusted him and his words. And these words hurt. Oh they hurt bad.

Smart

Where a man falls short is where he searches for another to be better. Foolish to try and do everything on your own. It’s too difficult to reinvent the wheel and pull the wagon all on your own. You simply have no time to allow your ego take over. Just need to let people help you. No need to search or set new goals, etc. Allow the universe to help you. Stop working so hard for the low hanging fruit.